Should we ditch the dummy?

For many babies and toddlers, a dummy is an important part of settling to sleep. It can be comforting and help children relax at bedtime or during naps, and become a positive sleep association.

The challenge often comes when a child starts to depend on the dummy to fall back to sleep. If it drops out during the night and they cannot put it back in themselves, parents can end up getting up repeatedly to replace it, doing ‘dummy runs’

If this is happening regularly, it may be time to think about a dummy plan.

First, decide whether you need to remove it

Not every child needs to give up their dummy straight away.

If your baby is sleeping well and can find and replace their own dummy, there is no need to remove this, utilise this as a comfort tool for your child.

The situation is different if your baby or toddler is regularly:

• Waking because they have lost their dummy

• Waking you to put the dummy back in

• Having early morning wakes

If these problems are happening consistently, you can either help your child become more independent with their dummy or begin the process of removing it.

Age plays an important role lets discuss why

The best approach can depend on your child's age and how strongly they rely on their dummy.

Babies under 6 months

At this age, the reliance on the dummy is less established, so removing the dummy can be relatively straightforward, this is recommended as your baby cannot learn to find and replace the dummy themselves yet so will continue to rely on you.

Some babies adjust within a few days, although they may need additional help settling while they get used to the change.

Babies over 6 months

If your 6 months plus baby is otherwise sleeping well with a dummy, you may find it easier to teach them to find and replace it themselves.

From about 6 months it is developmentally achievable to teach your baby to do this. 

This can reduce the need for you to respond every time the dummy falls out.

Toddlers

For a toddler who has continued using a dummy, stopping around 2.5–3 years can be a good option.

By this age, your child is more likely to understand simple explanations and take part in the process. They may also have other familiar bedtime routines and comfort items to help them adjust.

Pick a calm time

Try to avoid removing the dummy when your child is already dealing with a major change or discomfort.

For babies, you may want to wait if they are:

• Unwell

• Teething

• Going through a developmental change

• Having a growth spurt

• Experiencing a sleep regression

• Adjusting to a change in their nap routine

For toddlers, consider waiting if they are:

• Starting daycare

• Moving house

• Moving from a cot to a toddler bed

• Adjusting to a new sibling

You don't need to find a perfect time, but choosing a relatively settled period can make the transition easier.

Prepare before you remove it

Before taking the dummy away, make sure your child has other familiar ways to relax.

A predictable bedtime routine might include a bath, pj’s, books, cuddles, white noise and a dark bedroom, depending on age you may offer a lovey to support soothing.

The aim is to make bedtime feel safe and predictable even without the dummy.

Choose an approach

There is no single method that works for every child. Think about how your child usually responds to change and choose an approach that you feel you can stick with.

Cold Turkey

With this approach, you stop offering the dummy completely and remove it from naps and bedtime.

The first few sleeps may be difficult. Your child may cry, become frustrated or need more support than usual.

Offer plenty of reassurance and comfort while keeping the new boundary clear. Cuddles, gentle patting and your presence can help while they learn a different way to settle.

Consistency is important. If you give the dummy back after several difficult nights, your child may find it harder to understand that the dummy is now gone.

Gradual Removal

If your child finds sudden changes difficult, you can reduce their dependence on the dummy over time.

For example, you might first introduce another settling method alongside the dummy. Once your child is comfortable with that, gradually reduce your use of the dummy and eventually stop offering it.

You can then reduce the extra settling support as your child becomes more confident falling asleep without the dummy.

This approach can take longer but may suit children who struggle with sudden changes.

For toddlers, make it a special event

Older toddlers can often understand that giving up the dummy is part of growing up.

One option is to introduce a "Dummy Fairy". Your child can leave their dummies out for the fairy, who takes them to babies who need them. In return, your child receives a small toy or treat.

You could also create your own family tradition. The important thing is that your child knows what is going to happen and has the opportunity to be involved.

Once the dummies are gone, try not to bring them back. Your toddler may ask for one, particularly at bedtime, but calm and consistent reassurance will help them adjust, remind them about where the dummies have gone.

Be prepared for a few difficult nights

Giving up a dummy can be emotional, especially if it has been part of your child's bedtime routine for a long time, but remember your why and stay consistent.

Choose a time when your family is relatively settled, decide which approach feels right for your child, and be prepared to offer extra comfort while they adjust.

The first few days may be challenging, but with patience and consistency, your child can learn to settle without their dummy and develop new bedtime habits.